Sometimes pee just happens

My next post was going to be a great stuff that I’m preparing and hopefully will be ready quite soon. However, today I co-starred a couple of funny stories in doing the shit-pee business that I would like to share...even if it's only whit my laptop, my most loyal friend (4 countries already together and preparing for the 5th crossing the Equator, dude!).

Today the Boss told me to stay with Kitkat, one of the males of the tourist group, to collect his urine and faeces. The faeces only took a couple of hours...spent on watching his ass and sporadically, studying some French, practicing bo with the urine-catcher and of course, singing and jumping (I'm a multi-tasking girl). Nonetheless, the urine was much more trickier. After a couple of hours staring at him on the top of a tree (neck-breaking monkeys...) and having lunch, I was watching at him in the middle of the tourist area when some pee started to fall on him. Neither he nor I were prepared for that! He was sleeping and when the stream fell on him, shocked, sat down and shaked his body while looking upwards. I could only laugh watching Lychee (Fidji) above him and urinating, apparently on purpose. I reacted late, and I could only take few drops of the precious liquid. It was so ridiculous... Kitkat couldn't believed either and looked at me like saying "did you see that?? Ahhh...some people..."

I consulted with the Boss because I wasn't sure if it was worthy to save such a small quantity. She, a little bit pissed off because I only took that scarce drops, said "yes" and she stayed preparing the sample and sent me to follow Kitkat again.

Fortunately, I could redeem myself because, just when I found him again, with the French, he peed on a rock, one which fortunately had a hole which acted as a container. So, I could get a good sample of 1.5ml, the maximum that we collect and still have enough for carrying out the urine-analysis. The French and I were doing it when, suddenly, I heard the distinct sound of pee drops falling on the ground. In a matter of seconds I had time to turn around, and scream "F&%CK, F&%CK, F&%CK!!!!" while taking the pee-collector and runing to collect Lemon's (Clarisse) urine. It wasn't too much, but much better than Lychee's sample.

While we were preparing this last one, the Boss radioed me and told me to replace her with Banana (Shannon). So, there I went. A couple of minutes latter, the French came around looking for monkeys on the ground to take the photogrammetry and we were talking a little bit (yeah, old fellows, now I speak a lot while working...well, at least more than a rubber plant as I did before...)

She turned around and I felt some drops falling on me. I said "What was that??" And she laughed and said that probably an infant had just pee on me. I laughed too, I had already been sprinkle with worse things the last month and a half...

Not long after, Banana (Shannon) climbed down to a much lower branch and sat down. I said "Pee, Shana-Banana, pee!!!"...and so she did! But when I put the urine-collector bellow her. She jumped and switched from branch while pissing. However, thanks to the ninja reflexes that I'm acquiring, I could catch it all. She, disappointed, tried to defecate on the sieve, but I was quick again and removed before the dung fell. "Ah, Ah" I said to her, like Nelson of the Simpsons. She looked annoyed.

After this sample it was my time to follow Donut, this time for faecal samples. He didn't take much time to go down from the tree he was and start to walk toward the bushy area (9). I didn't know what to tell him to make him shit...but I remembered a song of Frank T ("Soy un poeta"), ans Spanish mc, in which he said "...ahora ya sé cuál es mi filosofía y ¿cuál es? comer y la tripa llenar, ir al servicio y dentro cagar. ¡Oh! qué placer cuando llegas al fin mi filosofía de cacafutiscín. Es imposible contradecirla, es imposible, no quieras maldecirla. Tú haces caca, él hace caca, todos cagamos y los poetas rimamos.." ( "Now I know what is my philosophy and What is it? To eat and to full your stomach, go to the toilet and shit inside, Oh such a pleasure when you come to the end, my philosophy of cacafutiscín. It is impossible to contradict it, it's impossible, don't try to damn it. You shit, he shits, we all shit and we, the poets, rhyme..."). It's not his best work, but it seemed appropriate for the occasion. At the third repetition, he finally did!

And this kind of stories are the adventurew and misfortunes of our daily routine,..


Curioso giro de los acontecimientos…quién lo iba a decir después de tanto tiempo...pero de momento, a lo Nina Simone “…I rather be lonely…[…]…I Intend to be independently blue...”